Sunday, September 19, 2010

Any of You Anesthesia Types...

Any of you anesthesia types who feel as Mike does that he wouldn't give a medication UNLESS there was a life and death situation, please explain this sentiment.  On this blog I am speaking of a particular drug called Versed/Midazolam.  As far as I can tell, this is NOT a drug which has any kind of "life and death" implications.  Do you intend to inject me with this poison against my will and claim it's a "life and death" situation?  Would you claim that I was "combative" and you couldn't do your job without this one single sedative to the exclusion of any other?  Would you choose another one that doesn't include PTSD and severe, long lasting side effects and for which there is no refusal from me?  Would you? 

What would happen to you if you did inject me with the one drug which I had forbidden?  I have a medic alert bracelet on, would you claim that you didn't see it, couldn't find it, etc. just in order to shoot me up with this dastardly drug?  I have said elsewhere that my experience with this drug was so bad that I would rather expire than be subjected to it again.  Should that be in a DNR report?  Should I carry that in my wallet?  What "life and death" situation would demand that I receive Versed?  Just curious. 

Remember that in my experience, my CRNA Aaron claimed that he "knows what's best" for me regardless of my wishes and experience and shot me up with Versed clearly contrary to my instructions, so what's to stop you from claiming a "life and death" situation?  Have you read the effects of long term Versed use on ICU patients?  I have them on this blog... (also up is a list of severe side effects of Versed)  Would you cram me full of Versed to force me to be docile and accepting of intubation or whatever, knowing that you were not only destroying my mental health but causing cognitive dysfunction as well?  Is that kind of life worth living?  Not for me!  I'd rather be dead than go through that again.  ISN'T THIS MY CHOICE REGARDLESS OF "LIFE AND DEATH" SITUATIONS?  Don't give me Versed under any circumstances.  Period.  End of statement.  (you know my name and you know where I live, if you have cause to treat me, be advised)

PS Please keep in mind that I don't get amnesia from Versed.  If 7-12 mg in an hour doesn't do it, then you will kill me trying to get amnesia.  (My full sibling doesn't get the amnesia either)  Also, now that I am aware of what Versed (Vitamin V) IS and what it does to me, the instant I start to feel that bizarre burning desire to OBEY, I will become extremely violent.  I will rip out the IV and attack whoever I find in the area.  That's a promise.  If I hadn't been so shocked and confused by the whole, "I don't give a shit what my patient says I'm going to show her who is boss" attitude from Aaron, the unauthorized (and forbidden) administration of debilitating drugs, that strange desire to obey, the inability to speak coherently etc. I would have attacked Aaron.  It took a while for the betrayal of trust to sink in to my Versed addled brain and by then it was too late.  The muscular relaxation (paralyzed) was such that I couldn't fight it.  This won't happen again.  Ask the nurses in the PACU if they want to see me again under the influence of Versed...  Hint; I don't think so, or HELL NO!

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