Friday, December 30, 2011

Good News For Colonoscopy Patients

As everybody knows, Versed is the drug of choice for a common and allegedly life saving procedure known as a colonoscopy. Yes I've read all the horror stories all over the web about being unable to choose an unsedated colonoscopy. I have been terrified of this procedure for that reason alone. Of course it will be undignified! Of course it may be briefly painful! To my mind this does not justify the risk of sedation related complication OR the risk of perforation due to the Versed use. I have never heard of a single perforated colon related to a lack of "sedation."

Unbelievably, I just got off the phone with an outfit in my town who specializes in digestive disease. I asked the perky girl who answered the phone if they had a problem doing unsedated colonoscopies. I was expecting the runaround, obfuscation, shock, dismay or platitudes. What I got was "of course we do unsedated colonoscopies." She went on "lots of doctors (did you get that?) have unsedated colonoscopies. I could never do it (unsedated) but we have plenty of people who get their colonoscopy without any sedation. Just tell us when we schedule that you are going with the option of no sedation and we will schedule you with our doctor who does them that way."

There is hope! We don't have to accept Midazolam or die of cancer! Isn't that great? Now to figure out the risks of the bowel cleansing and see if there might be one that won't throw my electrolites out of whack. I'd rather eat vegetable shortening for a week. I wonder if that would work? LOL As you can tell I'm delighted to find that unsedated colonoscopies are perfectly acceptable in my city. Thanks also to my excellent primary care physician who also believes that if I want unsedated, then that's what I'll get.

If anybody wishes to know what city is offering these unsedated colonoscopies, e-mail me at and I'll tell you. I don't want them mad at me for putting their name up on an edgy blog like this, even though it's favorable. For my many friends from this blog (you know who you are) you can fly in, I'll pick you up at the airport, take you to the medical center, stay with you if you want and then you can stay at my house until your flight out. It's all within about a 10 mile radius.

P.S. Unsedated means no Propofol either. Just so we are perfectly clear about what NO SEDATION means! I might want a tiny bit of Fentanyl, or not. My choice.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Dr. Kevin's Blog Again!

Once again an anonymous blogger has an excellent article printed in Dr. Kevin's blog. We are finally getting some traction in regards to the persistent view of medical workers that Versed is useful and good. Course it IS useful and good from their standpoint, but from the patients' standpoint, maybe not. Here is the link to the article in situ. Reduce sedation in critically ill patients

I have reproduced the article from Dr. Kevin's blog here as well. There are some pertinant statements that I want to point out, so I am going to put those in bold! Any comments I might make as I read through this will be in purple and (parenthesis.) We are starting to be heard by the medical community! Happy reading!

Reduce sedation in critically ill patients

I sit here today, in this small, windowless call room with its low twin bed that is covered in untouched hospital blankets and sheets. Tonight is one of my last nights on a 30-hour call shift in the medical intensive care unit. Yet another mile-marker on this long journey of residency. My day began at the break of dawn, when I and another resident passed each other in the parking lot at 7am – the only souls trudging to our cars at such an ungodly hour on a Sunday morning. But this is the life we chose.

The day passed as many days have passed in the intensive care unit – extubating one patient, intubating another, placing one or two central lines, and being present with families in a time of crisis and even in the face of death. It is a charged atmosphere. At one point, our hospital raised the Donate Life flag in honor of a young gentleman who had died and donated his organs to patients in need across the country. At another point, we gathered round in a patient’s room with family and chaplain to offer the only piece of caring we still could offer her – empathy, compassion, and prayers.

The families and patients in this unit have reminded me, over the past few weeks, of the primary reason I chose to become a doctor: to care for my patients. Patients roll into this unit on stretchers, many with breathing tubes in place, many so confused or sedated that their memories of this visit will merely be a vague sense – blurred brush strokes across canvas, lacking definition or purpose. But perhaps it is better that they do not remember – it serves as a survival mechanism, if they ever make it out of here.

(Here is where the medical people take a detour. It is NOT better to have amnesia. Patient after patient is telling the workers this. Why are we having so much trouble convincing these medical people that WE KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR OURSELVES and it isn't Versed? Medical workers can't help but be aware that their precious Versed is causing sever problems and even death in people. Why would they smugly claim that it's for the patients' when it really is all about the ease of staff? It's not like there is any shortage of medical personnel in these places! They are NOT being worked to death, so why the sedation?)

All too soon, however, reality will hit. Some of these patients will be paralyzed for the rest of their lives. Others will never be able to eat or lie flat again, because they are at such a high risk for aspiration . Still others may never speak again because of malignant masses occluding their vocal cords. Hard to imagine, really, but it happens here every day.

Even with these tragedies, though, some patients will make it out of the ICU in good health, at least in a medical sense. But even they must struggle to overcome the effects of their prolonged hospital stay – weakness, anxiety, fear. Many of them will need rehabilitation, both mental and physical, for extended periods of time.

In an attempt to prevent this, there is a new movement in critical care units to sedate patients less, to exercise them more, and to allow them to return functioning, mobilizing human beings as quickly as possible and even in the setting of the grave illnesses which brought them here. An article in the New York Times published in 2009, Get Patients Up, introduces some of the new and relatively radical approaches that physicians are using at Johns Hopkins, including mobilizing patients on ventilators. The idea is to allow patients to maintain their strength, to minimize muscle wasting, and to prevent long-term neuromuscular weakness that ultimately requires patients to participate in months of physical therapy to return to their baseline.

An article from Vanderbilt University in Chest describes an “ABCDE bundle” which is a strategy to minimize delirium and weakness in critically ill patients. It includes awakening patients daily, allowing them to breathe on their own without ventilator assistance for brief periods every day, coordinating their breathing and awakening, closely monitoring their delirium using consistent guidelines, mobilizing them early, and initiating physical and cognitive therapy. The goal of this bundle approach is to reduce the devastating effects of delirium and weakness which patients commonly struggle with after their ICU stays.

Although these ideas push the bounds of conventional ICU medicine, which include deep sedation and bed rest, they mark the beginning of a new and perhaps even more humane approach to care for the critically ill. Even more interestingly, these new techniques recall the age-old wisdom of Hippocrates. Primum non nocere. First, do no harm.By sedating patients with high doses of medications to treat their pain and agitation, by paralyzing patients to minimize the use of their respiratory muscles, and by restraining them to strict bed rest, we are in some cases harming them more than we are helping them. So let us take a fresh look at critical care medicine and remind ourselves that, at least for some of our patients, less is more.

(I can't tell you how happy I am that the grave disservice of "sedating" patients with drugs which cause delirium and a host of other complaints is hopefully going to be phased out. I have opined that trying to give people amnesia, preventing them from having their needs met by drugging them into immobility is cruel and unusual punishment. Thank about it! A person is trapped inside that body and they may or may not have amnesia. They are living through every single minute of the pain and torture. Whether they remember later or not is still not an excuse to subject us to this kind of treatment. Destroying people's brains and causing possible life long mental problems for the sake of staff convenience is not only an affront to human dignity, it's against the law! The sheer boredom of being forced to lie in a bed with only the sounds of the room for hour after hour is enough to make anybody crazy to start with. With Versed you are CONSCIOUS of all of this the whole time! How nasty is that? No wonder we have people with POCD and PTSD after hospital interventions! Thank God that the medical profession is starting to take notice of this... Less IS more! The anonymous author of this piece is absolutely correct!)

This anonymous medical resident blogs at A Medical Resident’s Journey.

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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Inadequate Pain Control? You Bet!

Here is an expose on this very thing. How long have we patients complained that medical personnel are using an immobilization and amnesia "sedative" called Versed/Midazolam instead of giving patients adequate pain medications? Years? Decades? One of my readers sent me this article... I have included the entire e-mail she sent me, excluding her salutation to me personally. At the bottom of this post is the letter she sent to the Seattle Times.


Seattle Times Exposé on Inadequate Pain Care
Action Requested

Submit your comments to the Seattle Times applauding reporters’ efforts to expose the deplorable pain care in Washington state and tell your own state representatives that policies like this are unacceptable!

Dear American Pain Foundation member,

American Pain Foundation (APF) would like to share with you a series of articles published in the Seattle Times that expose deplorable and inadequate pain care for Washington state residents. Legislators and regulators in other states are closely following pain care legislation in Washington state which could, unfortunately, result in other states modeling their pain policies after these substandard policies.

Seattle Times staff writers Mike Berens and Kevin Armstrong reported on how new Washington state policies create unjust barriers and prevent people with pain from receiving appropriate pain care. These barriers include:

  • Policies that result in health care providers refusing to treat people with pain;

  • Policies that require a one-size-fits-all guideline for pain care; thereby encouraging providers to disregard specific needs of people with pain;

  • Regulations that cause people with pain to be treated differently than any other person with a disease or health condition (e.g., mandating use of signed treatment agreements and infringing on a person’s medical and personal privacy); and

  • Restricting access to pain care for Medicaid recipients and the uninsured (70 % of Washington state community health clinics no longer treat pain).

APF has been working diligently to improve pain care and challenge policies that impede access to pain care in Washington state and the rest of the U.S. It is important to applaud media reports that provide accurate accounts of pain management issues and expose barriers that hinder access to care.

Take Action! Join APF and applaud the writers for a job well done. Tell the Seattle Times how important it is to you that articles such as these continue to be published so that pain, its management and the barriers people with pain face are brought to the forefront in communities all across the country.

Here’s how:

  1. Read “State Pushes Drug that Saves Money, Costs Lives.” Then, follow the instructions on the page to submit your online comment.

  2. Read “New Law Leaves Patients in Pain.” Then, follow the instructions on the page to submit your online comment.

After submitting your online comments, we ask you to take one more step. Please email your state representative letting him/her know that the pain policies in Washington state are deplorable and should NOT be introduced in your state. Let’s make sure your voice is heard loud and clear that you will NOT support representatives who favor policies that hinder access to pain care, infringe on our privacy and contribute to further stigmatization. People with pain have a right to timely, appropriate and effective pain care!

Thank you for your continued support,

American Pain Foundation

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Mr. Berens,

Would you be interested in doing an article about the drug MIDAZOLAM? It is being used in surgery without our knowledge and causes long term brain damage in many people. {politely called "POCD" by doctors} I am one of them.

This drug is used ONLY to cause "Compliant Hypnosis and Amnesia", according to the drug manufacturers websites {so the doctors and hospitals can use less pain medications because "you won't remember it anyway"}. The problem is, this drug also causes Alzheimer's disease and long term intermittent amnesia, PTSD, rage disorder, etc..

According to government studies, one use of this drug can cause 20% to 40% permanent cognitive loss {this is one colonoscopy, a cataract surgery, one surgery of any kind, or even a minor procedure done in any hospital}. Yet, it is being used on us without our knowledge!! It is also used on preemies and sick babies. No one can explain this to me! Babies will NOT comply with an order nor do they need amnesia for any reason. Since it can cause permanent brain damage in adults, what is it doing to babies? Perhaps causing autism??

This is also the drug of choice for all "in house" Alzheimer patients---I do NOT understand this since the patients already have amnesia due to the disease process.

You can check out many different people's MIDAZOLAM story by going to: and click on "V" for VERSED and that will show over 800 posts from people who have been negatively affected. Under the actual name, MIDAZOLAM, there are an additional 18 posts that are all worth reading. Some of these people had actually told doctors and hospital staff NOT to use midazolam on them but were ignored and injected with it anyway. I also am in touch with other people who have permanent brain damage and ongoing amnesia from this drug who would love to tell their story. About 6 weeks ago a 14 year old girl died when she got versed in the dentists office to have a tooth removed. America is the ONLY country where Midazolam is used outside of a hospital setting.

There is group of us who are hoping to do a public protest sometime early summer 2012 {in Spokane, WA} to bring public attention to this drug and the damage it causes and the SNEAKY use of it . Many of us believe that perhaps the military or Homeland Security is behind the abuse of patients using this drug.

On this website you can read of the 135 other medications that contain MIDAZOLAM and wonder, like the rest of us, WHY they have added an amnesiac & hypnotic drug to such things as asthma meds, cialis, birth control pills among the list.

I need another hip replacement but due to my experience with this drug and my ongoing amnesia I have chosen to live in a wheelchair when my other hip finally gives out altogether. I had my hip replaced so I could have my independence back, instead, it has been stolen from me forever, I can't drive, too much of a risk, I don't know if "automatic pilot" would take over and keep other people on the road safe from me {I am not the only one to be forced to give up driving due to this drug}, I can't go for a walk far from home in case I went into the amnesia state and got lost, etc.. I am not the only one, the difference is, I researched amnesia on the internet to find out what happened to me and discovered the midazolam, {an allergy to other drugs in this class was listed on my surgery forms} how many people have been damaged from this drug and don't know what happened to them?

Please help us to educate the public before any more people are permanently damaged with the blessings of the FDA and big "Pharma".



Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Comment Gleaned From Versedbusters

Here is the newest comment from the premier Versed site

anonymous has left a new comment on the post "Introduction":

I spent the last hour or so reading the posts starting from the very beginning. I stopped half-way through 2007 when I realized that I could not finish the whole thing in one sitting. But the little that I did read has reinforced what I believe to be true. I want to briefly report my wife's experience. She had a colonoscopy two weeks ago and was given 7 mg of Versed and 125 ug of fentanyl. Prior to the surgery, she was an active, intelligent, independent, strong-willed, and outgoing mother and wife. You name any positive human attribute and I know that it could be applied to my wife. However, in the two weeks since the surgery, she has been an absolute basketcase. She is prone to daily panic attacks, mood swings, and cannot perform simple day-to-day tasks. Never has she behaved like this, and I have know her for 28 years. I am a medical professional and have read a good deal of the scientific and anecdotal literature on Versed. I understand the neurochemisty of the drug at the molecular level and how it can alter brain functioning. Indeed, it is this basic scientific understanding that helps me to cope with my wife and provide her the emotional support she needs. I also understand that Versed only impacts a small proportion of the population who use it. However, for those whom it does impact, the effects can be terrifying. My wife and I are getting through this one day a time. We have resources such as family and friends who will get us through this. However, I did want to post my thoughts to relieve some of my own anxiety and also to reassure others who have similar symptoms that they are not "crazy" and are certainly are not alone. Thank you.


This is not a crazy person! This person correctly identifies Versed as the culprit in the decimation of his wife's mental health. It is absolutely unbelievable that a drug like this is used so indiscriminately in the medical field. It galls me that medical "professionals" continue to deny that this poison has side effects and in particular, these side effects as described by the above poster! This attitude amongst those who have knowledge of the myriad side effects of a whole host of drugs causes them to deride us because we report that Versed is unsafe.

Anybody who watches the minimum of television will see all kinds of drugs advertised. Each of these drugs has a list of side effects which almost always include mental problems occurring as a result of using the drug. Do medical people find it amusing that drugs touted as alleviating depression and such are also implicated in WORSE mental disorders than the problem they are meant to treat? Doesn't it follow that an "anti anxiety" drug such as Versed could CAUSE the very thing that it is allegedly used to "treat?" Any drug like Versed with such SEVERE AND PROFOUND EFFECTS ON THE BRAIN can absolutely cause problems. To deny this can happen from Versed injections, is a mental disorder of the highest magnitude. Only a mentally compromised moron would deny the horrible side effects of Versed!

Having some anxiety about medical people and their job of cutting you open or some other intrusive and painful procedure is NORMAL! Why are these same highly educated medical people deciding that normal and justifiable anxiety is a mental disorder that must be "medicated" with a monstrous drug such as Versed is beyond me.

I'll make a bet with you! If you go in for surgery and DO NOT exhibit any anxiety at all, I bet that your medical employees will write something in your chart about your "affect." If they don't remark on your lack of affect, then they will still ROUTINELY WRITE "ANXIETY" ON YOUR CHART! If you are not anxious, you are "crazy" and if you are anxious, (perfectly normal) then you need Versed intervention. You can't win with these people. They could care less about people such as the above poster's wife who react badly to their drug of choice. Medical people are wrapped in a cocoon with others of their ilk and will not or cannot relate to anything or anybody other than themselves. (Nor will they tolerate ANY criticism whatsoever! Not for themselves and not for their precious Versed.)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Dr. Appointment

I had to go to the Dr. today to get my slightly high blood pressure checked. It's all fine, BUT (big but) he of course suggested a colonoscopy, mammogram, pap smear and a bone density check. Any of you who "know" me know what I will allow... That's right; the bone density test which does not feature sedation. But Jackie, you exclaim, a mammogram and a pap smear don't involve sedation either! Maybe. Here is my reasoning...

Suppose that I irradiate my perfectly normal breasts for a screening procedure, even though I have no problems and nobody on either side of my family has ever had breast cancer. Does this sound like a plan? The very performance of this test could cause problems/changes in delicate breast tissue can't it? There is no use telling me that the amount of radiation is negligible. I have read all the studies. There is a lack of due diligence being used to ensure that the machine doing the irradiating is within boundaries isn't there? My feeling is that I should not be taking risks with my health for no apparent reason.

The next problem, and this goes for both the mammogram and the pap smear, is what then shall I do if there is some minor problem detected? It would be minor as I am asymptomatic. Nobody in my family on either side has experienced any kind of cancer... Won't the medical workers want to continue with more intrusive tests? Biopsies and exploratory surgery etc. (keep in mind that nearly EVERYTHING is "pre-cancerous") Won't that involve a (heated) debate about that brain poison Versed? You bet it will. You can't have a biopsy or surgery without an IV. Once the IV line is established, who can GUARANTEE that I won't be injected with "Vitamin V" again? Nobody can. Given the vitriol from health care workers that I have experienced by suggesting that Versed can be a very bad drug for lots of people, why would anybody in the medical field listen to me? Hell they might want to deliberately shoot me up with it to show me who is boss. It happened before, it can happen again. It happened to my sister too.

On to colonoscopy. It may surprise some people that Versed itself is causing major problems in re colonoscopy. I personally speak to many, MANY people who have been sedated for colonoscopy who are experiencing severe and long lasting mental problems subsequent to the Versed injection. The problem starts with devious medical people, intent on doing as little patient care as is humanly possible, who either LIE about the effects of Versed as in "something to RELAX you" or they simply don't mention this nasty little drug at all. (Screw patient rights law!) Too late once they get it into your veins. There's horror story after horror story pertaining to this all over the web. I have collected a lot of them here on this very blog. People are being tortured all over this country by having Versed slammed into their brain and the ASSUMPTION by medical people that a) it's fine to subject patients to torture, and b) it doesn't matter because they fried your synapses with Versed. What's left out is the 10% that don't get amnesia. What about them? The prevailing attitude from our sympathetic (cough) health care workers is "Too damn bad for you!" Not to mention the perforation issue which is ameliorated by omitting the "sedation" for colonoscopies.

There's also another issue with colonoscopy that nobody seems to talk about and that's the prep itself. You are subjecting your body to extreme stress and distress by using the bowel cleansing regimen. My body isn't giving me any trouble at all. Why would I deliberately set out to throw it all off balance with the "bowel cleansing?" So I have to risk sending my system off kilter, frying my brain again, perforations etc. for a test that isn't medically indicated? This can't be real.

So now I'm in a quandary. I truly do not want to defy my doctor! I really like him. I selected him with deliberation and am pleased with my choice. I don't want him to dismiss me as a patient, but I'm totally unwilling to risk my mental and physical health when there is no underlying reason to do these tests. (no lumps, bumps, blood, pain or family history, everything working as it should) Medical checkups shouldn't involve this kind of anxiety...

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Medical Workers! Heed This Warning!

I found this quote from a doctor. While I'm aware that medical people probably get superior care as opposed to the care we insignificant "other" patients get, you don't know how some young know-it-all upstart might treat EVEN A DOCTOR once you are in their clutches... The following quote is from "Doc99" in the comments section of the link provided.

"- Here's a frightening thought - sooner or later, you will also be a patient. Be afraid. Be very afraid."


Here's the link to the article which this comment follows;The art of practicing template medicine

I read this article because of the way *I* was treated at the hospital. 'EVERYBODY WHO WALKS THROUGH THE DOORS GETS VERSED!" (patient relations nurse) Or "99% OF MY PATIENTS GET VERSED." (crna) This is more of the "template" medicine. Medical staff likes the drug because it makes their lives ever so easy! They manufacture spurious reasons to use it which have nothing to do with the patients themselves, only green money and easy money. Just to be clear, green money in the form of excessive extra charges for sedation and easy money for knocking people in the head and then being able to ignore them, their pain, and their dignity are not patient benefits! These are benefits for the STAFF!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Response From A Reader!

Don't hate this person because they are in "health care!" They wrote me in response to an e-mail I sent to a bunch of people on my "list" about another place to complain to about the wholesale use of the destructive drug Versed. I won't be putting the organizations name up because IMMEDIATELY they would be deluged with outraged health care workers/drug pushers/charlatans and the rest of their ilk. We now have somebody to field our complaints WITHOUT people like Insane Nurse rushing over there and "counter posting." So, here is my friends e-mail...

"Glad to see another place to register bad things about versed.

I also want to express my total agreement about the trust thing with health care workers. Too many of them are, in my mind, at about the same level as sleazy sales people that lie to get you to buy something that isn't what you wanted...and keep insisting it is what you want. Why is this supposed to help people trust them? Talk about crazy making....
But I digress. That little update on the clinical pathway for a supposedly comfortable transition to death in the UK: totally thrilled it is getting some attention. I read about this awful process a few months back, and it made me want to puke. Had I not known what midazolam did to me, I probably would have just figured it was another tranquilizer being used to calm agitated patients and been discouraged but not appalled. I have never like the idea of a "clinical pathway" being used as a cookie cutter guideline in end of life care. It is like saying there is a recipe for your death: here ya go, shoot these up, let set and you are done in a few hours. This is the stuff of nightmares. (OMG).

Remember, I've worked in health care for more than twenty years. Recipe medicine (aka: clinical pathways) comes off like a game being played to cover up incompetence. Evidence driven best practice. My a**.

Drugging patients to ensure compliance? WTF??? In what dimension would this be remotely ethical? How can anyone participate in care decisions under the influence of a hypnotic drug that induces amnesia? Does anyone track the adverse events, like respiratory arrest from versed? Probably not: the people that love this drug would blame something other than their precious elixir for free will suppression in the drugged patient. And it isn't like midazolam helps control physical pain in any way. And yet there is that constant refrain from the versed devotees about this drug being for the patient's benefit. What a complete lie,

I am there with you: I don't trust any of the charlatans. It gives me no pleasure to be reminded of the reasons why health care is seen as a pox on humanity. Stories like this make me feel we've made no progress since the days of pest houses where people were randomly abused just because they were in the wrong place and vulnerable."

Monday, October 17, 2011


I have been taken to task on-line at Dr. Kevin's blog. The reason? I don't trust anybody in health care any more. The good Dr. feels that he can't treat people who don't "trust" him.

Trust is EARNED in my opinion! Why on earth would I trust a complete stranger, who is too rushed to care, with my life? Why would I trust that "they know what's best for me" when they have no clue who I am OR what's best for me as an individual? I refer back to my Versed debacle. I did trust them. They didn't listen to me or care. They didn't care what *I* wanted done with *my* body and mind. They didn't care about my prior experiences with anesthesia and sedation drugs. (paradoxical reactions) They didn't care about the expense. "Who cares? Tra la tra la!" All they cared about is what THEY wanted to do to make THEIR life easier. How do you regain trust in people who treat patients like that?

How do you trust people in the medical field when they made things much much worse for me? The surgery itself, despite being done EXACTLY as they wanted, complete with Versed and g/a, caused nerve damage, loss of grip and necessitated yet more surgery? How careless were they with me? Do you really expect me to trust people who are so dismissive of me and my health, future earnings, mental capacity etc. that they would so sloppily do my surgery?

How do I trust people who give me a hospital acquired infection that is so easily preventable? This cost me yet more money and it cost me some kidney function. How long before something WORSE happens because of that? These people could have KILLED me over a broken arm! Would you trust them again?

My medical team had zero respect or care for me as a person, yet they still wanted to be paid top dollar for this kind of sub standard and downright cruel treatment! They almost bankrupt me for a simple surgery that took 70 minutes. They all knew that my boss didn't supply health care! At $1200 a month for a policy, I would have had to live under a bridge in order to pay that. Did they help me by keeping the cost down? NO they did NOT, in fact, I truly believe that they surmised that they COULD charge the absolute MOST money from me and that I would have to pay it. (or lose everything) After all I had no insurance lawyers to back me up. Tell me I'm wrong! If you do research about this, you CAN find where hospitals knowingly charge the self payers MORE MONEY than they do the insurance companies. Patients have no recourse against this predatory pricing scheme. None. You can't pry any pricing out of them prior to the work being done and then it's to late. You want me to trust the hospital ever again?

Did you know that the president of the hospital I went to told me that he has NO FIDUCIARY DUTY TO THE PATIENTS? What that means is that the staff in the hospital is made up of "independent contractors." These "independent contractors" work within the walls of the hospital but have no oversight. They can do whatever they want without fear of reprisal or getting fired. The hospital ALLOWS these people to be there and do things to patients, but doesn't give a damn whether they break the law, abuse patients and misbehave in any way! No wonder my team felt that they could get away with treating me without my consent! Is this conducive to trust? The minions at the hospital were absolutely UNTRUSTWORTHY! How would I have known this ahead of time? I couldn't. I will never trust anybody in the health care field to have *MY* best interests at heart, ever again.

So now a doctor tells me that he wouldn't treat me because his profession has taught me mistrust! How special! You know what? I don't trust and wouldn't use a doctor who is so arrogant as to demand trust. "Trust me" is the worst phrase to use on people like myself. It INSTANTLY alarms me! No more blind trust. Healthy suspicion has replaced that. It's every (wo)man for themselves in today's medical arena!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

From My Inbox

My friend Tim from and I have recently been discussing unnecessary tests, especially those which create opportunities for the medical profession to do yet more intrusive "procedures" which (big coincidence right?) can be looked upon as job security for medical people. We have discussed how the tests themselves could be dangerous. He being a man and I being a woman, we have different "tests" which are pushed. Colonoscopy is the one most widely used which is pushed on all of us.

I have already gone into the colonoscopy risks, Versed being at the top of the list. Sedation is very risky! Then there are perforations, infection, false positives and false negatives. Tim sent me some of the articles I put up recently about the prostate tests. I got this one today about mammograms. Funny about this... The things I have been saying about the efficacy of random or routine screenings, the use of radiation on sensitive breast tissue, and the RISK of developing cancer as a result of irradiating breasts are borne out in this scientific study.

Even Computer Technology Can't Help Mammograms

I find it very odd that a layman such as myself can see the risk involved with "simple screening tests," when the medical community doesn't seem to notice! Is it because it's simply their job to demand these tests as a way of making sure that we remain in the system? Are medical people taught that they are Gods of the universe and that they MUST order these tests regardless, without reason and without thinking? Why don't THEY (medical community) think about risk v. benefit? Are they taught to ignore risk and focus only on the supposed benefits? Why is that? Are they taught that there ARE no risks? Are they told that the risks are subordinate to their desire to perform tests? Are they taught that the INDIVIDUAL risks are to be ignored in favor of GROUP risk? Who compiles the adverse events for these "tests?" The medical community, which has a vested interest in performing "tests" on everybody for anything, even without a medical reason for it? Does anybody care about the adverse events? Should we patients demand that courses on "unintended consequences" be taught to medical people?

Come on medical people THINK about what you are doing! Think about the possibility of harm when you order tests. False positives, radiation poisoning, unnecessary surgery, unnecessary strain on patients minds and pocket books, the POCD, PTSD and other problems associated with the sedation and g/a drugs... FOR WHAT? That isn't a rhetorical question. I want to know what percentage of people are actually helped or saved by these procedures. (real ones, not inflated or subjective or projected benefits.) Balance that percentage against the possible harm of the "tests" themselves! How many people develop problems FROM the tests? How many are subjected to additional procedures to find that it was all a false alarm? Isn't that part of a medical oath or something "First Do No Harm?"

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Another Inane Comment

This comment, from yet another health care worker it appears, (crna) can also be viewed in situ on the article I wrote on how to avoid Versed. If this person had read further they would see that even THOSE instructions will not guarantee that the patient can avoid Versed. At least they didn't go on to defend Versed. Progress I guess. So let's see what this person wrote shall we?

BKW has left a new comment on your post "Instructions for avoiding Versed/Midazolam":

"Is this a joke? you certainly have a lot of time on your hands sitting at home on the computer...alone. If you don't want versed, just tell them! Lol, they aren't evil people."


Their first statement is a question... "Is this a joke?" Um, NO, it's not a joke. Why would you think it's a joke? Does it seem funny to you that we would have to go to such lengths to try and avoid being poisoned with Versed for the benefit of the staff?

Next sentence (capitalize the Y in you, beginning of sentence) "you (sic) certainly have a lot of time on your hands sitting at home on the computer...alone." This is another attempt to ridicule me right off the bat. This person is making some assumptions in this statement which are patently false.

Why would this genius assume that I 1) spend a lot of time 2) at home 3) on a computer and 4) alone? First of all what I do with MY free time is my business. If I choose to write a few things about Versed, or when I use an article written by others as the basis for my thoughts, this is MY prerogative! It doesn't take a whole lot of time. Mostly I think about things and when I sit down to write, the writing is mostly done already in my head. It doesn't take much time at all! Plus, I LIKE writing! It's therapeutic for me in this case! Lucky me. I'm sorry if the commenter finds this kind of thing difficult and time consuming...

I may or may not be at home. I could be on my laptop at a restaurant or a horse show. I am almost NEVER alone while I'm writing. My husband works nights, I work days and my kid is here when she isn't in school. (She's a 12 year old, straight A, prep school 9th grader! IQ is hereditary through the mother. She's also eligible for MENSA!) Is there a problem with writing when you are alone? Gee I didn't know that! LOL

I know what you are getting at honey. You are trying to say that I am a jobless, friendless, stupid kook that doesn't even have any family. That because I object to being treated like a sub human life form by the medical community and WRITE ABOUT IT, that I must really be that which I was treated like at the medical center, right? I'm must be just scum, correct?

I DID tell them I didn't want ANYTHING LIKE VERSED! How many times do I have to repeat the same refrain? I didn't want Versed, I didn't want any kind of sedation, I didn't want g/a, I said it over and over and over. It WASN'T NECESSARY for my simple surgery! My procedure has a better outcome if they DON'T use Versed and g/a. Do you understand me YET? So who else do I tell? My "team" couldn't understand the word NO! They thought they knew better than I what was best for me. They said so when I filed all the complaints. So tell me again smartaleck, to just say no and (extrapolating from your statement) I won't get Versed! So what do I do, make an appointment with risk management and tell THEM? Maybe I should have contacted the hospital president and told HIM not to give me Versed?

What do you mean by this statement? "If you don't want Versed, just tell them!" I noticed what you left out... That is, "just tell them" (and you won't get Versed). You very prettily SUGGEST that by telling the staff to omit the Versed that they won't in fact administer it, but you didn't come out and say it did you? I didn't want or need Versed and I told them so. My records reflect that I was a pleasant woman in no distress. I told them not to give me anything like this drug and they DID IT ANYWAY! That IS evil.

And this is a laughing matter to you. LOL Think about it sweet lips, IF the morons at the place where I went had simply done as I asked, which was perfectly reasonable and also required by law, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE DOING THIS! Can you understand that? Evil, mentally compromised (can't grasp the meaning of the word NO? Or refuse to take NO for an answer, your choice!) medical workers deliberately and maliciously assaulted me with drugs and treatments against my wishes and in a manner which is against the law. For a non life threatening elective procedure. They are doing this all over this country. They are doing this knowing full well they are in violation of patient rights laws. FEDERAL LAWS prohibit shooting up unsuspecting patients with Versed without INFORMED consent, let alone when the patient objects to it. So when you violate federal law what does that make you?

What planet do YOU live on where patients wishes about Versed are followed? Is the sky blue where you are? Do they have "informed consent" laws where you are? Are they followed? What does the word NO mean to you? None of the patients *I* speak to have been informed about the true nature of this (cough) wonder drug. Not one. Nobody that *I* know has been able to refuse Versed, even when following my instructions...

BTW thanks for not going on about how wonderful Versed is! This is a bad drug, which appears to cause brain damage in the form of POCD, PTSD, premature Alzheimer's like symptoms, anxiety disorders etc. Nobody should allow the use of Versed. The exception to the rule being those condemned people facing euthanasia for their crimes. Who cares if their brain is destroyed, they are going to be executed anyway. Have a nice day BKW. Say hey to all your crna friends.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Another OMG What Are They THINKING?

Well, it's finally out. Medical workers are putting senior citizens on Versed/Midazolam to "help" them die. Isn't that great? To be cognizant, aware and unable to do anything about the nurses who are killing you. The amnesia only works backwards, if it works at all. Patients can't remember the past, (most of them anyway) but they can surely see what is happening to them in real time! This is cruelty like nothing we have seen so far with this drug. Here is the article;

Death row drug fed to dying Scottish pensioners - The Daily Record

Versed/Midazolam CAUSES a lot of the problems in the first place. Things like dementia and cognitive dysfunction. Then medical workers apparently use the excuse that their brain is already destroyed, so let's just keep going with the brain poison drugs. (read the article where an old man "recovered" after leaving his Versed and the hospital behind.) The old folks can't scream or object if we give them enough Versed. What a deal. To the family it looks like the grandy has lost their mind, talks gibberish and has lost touch with reality. They may look peaceful and may not recognise family members. This would lead the family to think that something OTHER THAN poison is at work. If the family knew that their precious mother, father etc was being deliberately given a drug which caused all this they would be furious wouldn't they? I know I would.

Versed needs to be banned. I don't really care that they give this drug to condemned prisoners because they probably murdered somebody in a particularly heinous way to get where they are, but I do care that Versed is being used as a date rape drug, a patient annihilation drug, in order to get compliance and to mask abuse, and now it is used to "help" the dying process, destroying the last time that the patient has on earth by using this brain disabling drug... Sickening! Thanks Gin for sending me this.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

More Homework; Dr. Bremner

I was listening to a tv program about a man who took that drug Accutane for 2 days. He had minor acne, but this drug seems to have destroyed his brain function enough in those 2 days that he became a homicidal maniac and murdered the dermatologist who innocently prescribed it. 5 YEARS LATER! I have already written about Accutane on my blog, and if you read that, you know that the very same foreign outfit that developed Accutane also developed Versed. The company is Roche and in both cases they IGNORED THE FACT that their drugs were having a detrimental effect on people's mental health. They manufactured or otherwise tainted their trials with both these drugs. They ignored all of the adverse reactions that their drugs caused. They were SUED over Accutane... a skin blemish drug. Let's see, would I rather have mild acne or even disfiguring acne or become depressed and unable to function, maybe kill myself and/or others? I'd rather NOT have the drug. Same with Versed. I'd rather NOT be relaxed like with Versed. I am relaxed WITHOUT sedation, obsequious obedience, and amnesia thank you very much! I also could have lived without the Versed induced PTSD and all the rest of the mental aberrations brought on by Versed injections.

In the course of my research I cam upon a DOCTOR who has published a book entitled "Before You Take That Pill" I bought the book over on Amazon! I will give my synopsis when I get it and finish reading it. The author, Dr. Bremner, is the one who apparently brought the Accutane problem to the forefront. I also purchased Dr. Bremner's book about Accutane, entitled "The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg; Accutane..."

Here is Dr. Bremner's health blog. Before You Take That Pill » Book Review of Your Body's Red Light Warning Signs

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

More on DEMENTIA and SEDATION!!!!!

I have a couple of posts on this blog SOMEWHERE about this issue. Too many patients are ending up with dementia from hospital visits. I have an opinion on what is causing this "dementia" in the hospital. I know that you are totally taken aback that a lowly truck driver such as myself would form an opinion, based on the facts as I know them. It's called extrapolation or critical thinking. This is a brain function which even patients who are truck drivers can possess. Here is an article from my inbox.

Treating Drug-Induced Diseases... Welcome to the Alliance for Natural Health - USA

Imagine my surprise when this article CORRECTLY IDENTIFIES THE CULPRIT IN THE HOSPITAL ACQUIRED MENTAL DISORDER KNOWN AS DEMENTIA! You will love this excerpt from the piece linked above...

Treating Drug-Induced Diseases…

October 11, 2011


…With more—and worse—drugs?

Mainstream medicine too frequently relies on pharmaceuticals to solve problems that FDA-approved medicines caused in the first place. Take, for example, delirium—a kind of mental confusion that’s a common complication of hospital admission, especially among people over 65. It is one of the biggest drains on the healthcare system, costing between $38 and $152 billion per year in the US alone. Patients who become delirious are more likely to die while hospitalized and in the months after leaving, and many suffer permanent loss of their mental faculties.

Worst of all, say researchers from Vanderbilt University, in many hospitals three-quarters of delirium cases go undiagnosed because patients are often quiet and withdrawn rather than agitated and hallucinating. As you will see, the undiagnosed patients may actually be better off.

Next month, Vanderbilt researchers will begin a study to see if giving antipsychotic drugs in an intensive care unit (ICU) can reduce delirium and subsequent cognitive decline.

Shockingly, the truth is that delirium is often triggered by medication given in hospital. Drugs that boost activity of the neurotransmitter dopamine, or block the effects of acetylcholine, increase the risk of delirium. Sedatives that are widely prescribed in an ICU and to patients undergoing surgery seem to be particularly risky in this respect. (emphasis in red is mine)

Think about this: Even though one of the triggers of delirium is hospital-prescribed drugs (sedatives), the solution they’re considering is to prescribe even more dangerous and potentially damaging drugs (antipsychotics).

Side effects of the antipsychotic drugs which researchers hope will help with delirium include weight gain, type II diabetes, hyperlipidemia, inflammation of the heart muscle (myocarditis), sexual side effects, cataracts, and even more severe mental problems.

Why would trained researchers want to give delirium patients anti-psychotic medication? Are they delirious themselves? (I have wondered this same thing, are medical workers delirious?) Or is this just more crony capitalism involving the corrupting effect of drug company money? It certainly won’t be hard to find drug company funding for this trial.


Did you get that? SEDATIVES ARE TRIGGERING DELIRIUM! Wow, who would have thought that? Fascinating... Their solution is to add yet more dangerous drugs to the patients body instead of NOT USING VERSED! This is insane.

Monday, October 10, 2011


On my blog, several times, I have expounded on my theory that a lot or most (almost said ALL, but I'm sure that would not be true) of the positive reviews of Versed that we see all over the web are written by medical workers. We all know how hot they are to use this drug on ALL of us for ANY specious reason. They vigorously defend this drug and cannot and WILL not allow anything negative to be said about it without throwing a hissy fit. At LAST I have proof of my hypothesis!

I got the following statement from a medical worker who purports to be a nurse practitioner from an pediatric ICU. I have done research and I believe I know who this person is and that he is really what he states he is... Several times I have stated that I won't post any more of his tripe, but jeez, I just can't resist it! 'M I bad? Good job (name removed)! You have me printing your inane statements again. At least this one!

Here it is folks, the proof positive that medical workers are running around (metaphorically) trying desperately to prevent the spread of information about just how bad their drug of choice is. Just like any addict, they claim that Versed is perfect, never has side effects, and anybody who objects is an uneducated crazy person. They ARE addicted to injecting Versed, and to this extent! Gotta love it!

"BTW, I counter posted! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Insane Nurse, author
The above is Insane Nurse's entire response to a DNP's statement that Versed should be avoided at all costs. So Nursey Poo goes right over there and posts a counter to it! ROFL! Also note the juvenile HAHAHA stuff! LOL Thank you very much sweety, you just proved me RIGHT AGAIN! These allegedly educated and divine medical peons are indeed posting to counter our claims that Versed is bad. In light of Insane Nurse's actions, I hope that my readers will be relieved to see that all (did it again! "MOST" not all) those glowing reviews about how wonderful Versed is are coming from the drug pushers themselves. Insane man, can you EVER open your mouth (type a comment) without inserting your foot in it?

Sadly this IS what medical care has come to. This is the thought process of (some of, many of?) the personnel that populate treatment centers... Kinda makes you a little insecure about trusting them doesn't it? This is a grown man acting like this... For more just take a trip over to sometime and see how childish they are as a GROUP! Even the student anesthesia nurses act like this. We need more grownups in medical care. I'm pretty much done with medical workers who act like over aged juvenile delinquents. That's right John, I consider what you did as an act of vandalism, graffiti if you will. Giggle!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Anesthesia and Learning Disabilities

Medical News: Repeat Anesthesia for Tots May Lead to Learning Disabilities - in Anesthesiology, Anesthesiology from MedPage Today

Yet another scientific study about the effects of anesthetic agents on the developing brain. This study specifically mentions Propofol as causing brain degeneration. I would like to see somebody look at the "other" drug that these medical workers are so hot to give to everybody and that is Versed. Along with the g/a aren't they all invariably given Versed? One crazy person who comes to my blog brags about the Versed "drips" that he sets up for his little charges.

What parent would allow a "study" to see how much BRAIN DAMAGE particular drugs cause? There is no way in Hell that I would allow this... So are they dispensing with "informed consent" so that they can evaluate the ruined brain of a child?

If you read my recent post about "Doing More Homework" you will see where the scientists state that the deeper areas of the brain are not really mappable and their activity doesn't show up on an EEG. So really, even scientists don't know very much about the brain at all do they? So why is it that the medical minions are so gung ho to alter that which they know NOTHING about? These medical people will catagorically state that THEIR favorite drug to inject YOU with can't possibly be harmful. How do they know this? Correct answer; They DON'T! They don't know JACK about any of it, but they still go right on the attack if you criticize Versed in ANY way.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Mid-Level Wages For Medical Personnel

You want to see what PA's, CRNA'S, and NP's etc. are crying about? My heart bleeds for them, it truly does. (sounds of violins playing a plaintive melody) Oh the pain of it all! They go to college for a few years and LOOK AT WHAT THE PAYOFF IS!!! I don't think there is another industry that pays out like a slot machine... My advice to anybody is to use this time to become a medical worker, especially if your own employment sector is going down in flames. Then you too can become a whiny crybaby at the same time as having a secure job that pays these outlandish salaries. None of us can afford to go to the doctor/hospital any more, but that's not stopping health care workers from acting like jerks and raking in the dough.

Here is a chart for the MEDIAN INCOME that these little starlets make. (The entire study and charting can be found here; AMGA Mid-Level Compensation Figures)

Cert. Reg. Nurse Anes..........$157,724
Dentistry................................$167,389 (This one gets me too, it doesn't take long to be a dentist.)
Midwife (Nurse)................$94,181 (You'd think that this would be a high risk job, why so cheap?)
Nurse Practitioner................$86,841
Occupational Therapist........$64,784
Optometrist...........................$124,067 (This looks like a good job too!)
Physical Therapist................$69,397
Physician Asst. (Med.).........$90,151 (for 2 years of study?!)
Physician Asst. (Surg.).........$99,475 (for 2 years of study?!)
Podiatrist (Med.)...................$190,596
Podiatrist (Surg.)..................$232,121
Psychology (Ph.D only).........$102,904

Obama's Fiery Rhetoric Reinvented

President Obama gave a speech to the members of the black caucus. I think I'd like it if Obama redirected his speech to all of the "mid-level" health care workers. You know, all of the advanced practice nurses who feel that they are on par with doctors. The ones who constantly whine about getting respect when they give none, that complain that 6 figures isn't enough money for people of their exalted status as advanced practice nurses. The ones who want to be called something other than what they are, like the physicians ASSISTANTS who want to be called ASSOCIATES! This speech is for YOU! (delivered in the strong reverberating tones of a TV evangelist!)

"Take off your bedroom slippers! Put on your marchin' shoes! Shake it off! Stop complainin'. Stop grumblin'! Stop cryin'! We are going to press on! We have work to do!"

That's right, shut the Hell up! Stop your incessant "complainin'" about all the real or imagined "slights" that your profession gets. "Stop cryin'" that you don't get any respect! You aren't acting respectable, you are acting like spoiled children! "Shake it off!" While you are at home in your bedroom slippers the rest of us are hard at work trying to afford your services! "Stop grumblin'" that you don't make as much as doctors! YOU AREN'T A DOCTOR! If you want to be a doctor then 'PRESS ON!" You "have work to do" if you want that prestige! "Put on your marching shoes" and march right over to the admissions office at a medical college!

God, I'm so sick of all the preening, posturing, whining, complaining and the arrogant, narcissistic attitude that goes along with "mid-level" health care people wanting to be accorded the same respect, money and prestige as a doctor. Now they want name changes and such to further their pretense. This is, well, PRETENTIOUS! "Shake it off!"

The EBP Process

Tim from sent me this link today.

Introduction to Evidence-Based Practice

If you click on the link you will see some boxes. On the right is a RED box. I laughed an ironic laugh when I read what is in the RED box. The RED box is the most important part of health care and the Evidence Based Practice or EBP. Without us there is no medical "practice."

What I like best about this tutorial is that the PATIENT is the focal point, not what the health care workers want. Maybe if this was taught in our medical schools and drummed into the heads of the arrogant snobs who populate this area of expertise, we would get better treatment from our medical teams.

Both parts of my recent ill advised foray into the medical world were wrong. My team forgot the RED box part of my treatment. In their little minds the whole adventure was an unqualified success. The crna got to sedate me and knock me out against my will. I did wake up. So he feels that his services were a success story. The surgeon or janitor, RN, Pa, device rep or whoever got to do my surgery got to do it. My arm was marginally straighter. Success! The nursing students and probably a couple of Gyn students got to play with my crotch! I helped train them against my will, but they got their training! Success!

From MY point of view the operation was a disaster. I still haven't returned to normal brain function and I am still experiencing panic attacks and anxiety over my treatment from the crna, along with pain from his tourniquet. I have major problems with the site of the surgery, numbness, loss of grip etc. As far as I'm concerned the surgery was an unqualified disaster, necessitating YET MORE SURGERY or right now I would not have any function left in my hand. I got an infection from all those people who were sticking their dirty fingers into my vagina and threading contaminated catheters into my urethra. My kidney function has been compromised because of it. I don't consider that a success. The humiliation of being treated like a lab rat of no value will stay with me until I die. This is why my surgery is NOT a success story, regardless of what medical people think! That's why the RED box in the above linked article is so important.

Unnecessary Tests

Recently I've written about the prevalence of unnecessary testing of patients, mainly for the monetary gain of medical workers. Here's an article from a friend of mine stating the same thing about THIS particular test.

Healthy men don’t need PSA testing for prostate cancer, panel says - The Washington Post

Whenever I hear about these "tests" I think about the childhood jingle featuring an old lady who swallowed a fly! Remember that? "I don't know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die." Then she had to swallow a spider to eat the fly and then a bird to eat the spider, and on and on like that. JUST LIKE MEDICAL CARE! How much does health care expect us to swallow?
If you want an article by another news source on this subject, here it is...

U.S. Panel Advises Against Routine Prostate Test -

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

While I'm on The Subject of Torture

Here's a web site that I think you should all read... Is Torture Ever Justified? - Science Forums

On the second page you will find this little jewel. Thanks Marat! I have put my thought in blue and parenthesis;

"I strongly suspect that torture is still commonly used today even though it is known not to be very effective at producing reliable information, and it is also well-established that other, more humane methods such as drugs and keeping people awake for long periods are more effective. The reason for continuing to use torture is pure sadism, both on the part of the governments using it and the people performing the torture, lighly covered by the cloak of its supposedly being necessary.

Since the Nazis preferred to use scopolamine over torture, and they were hardly true gentlemen in their methods, I think it must be clear by now that scopolamine is a superior device to making people talk. I have had extensive experience with versed, which usually causes patients to babble so incessantly about everything that comes to mind that it is impossible for physicians to concentrate on even the most simple surgeries. (So why use it? We have been told that sedation is necessary for the doctors convenience, now it seems that this has been yet another lie!) They also tell the most interestingly embarrassing things about themselves, their lives, their perceptions, and their desires, (OMG!) that it is difficult to look them straight in the face afterwards, (how HUMILIATING!) especially if their 'official' persona is that of a prude. So why wouldn't a harmless (harmless?) drug like versed, which leaves patients sufficiently conscious that they can respond to questions, be suitable for extracting information? It even seems better than torture since it causes patients to forget everything that has occurred while they were under its influence, so they would not know what they revealed or what their questioners knew." (Exactly what I have been saying for a long time.)

Here's another quote from the torture site. This will curl your hair. How DARE THEY do this to us?

"One of the things done in my place of work is that central line catheters are inserted into the sometimes complex vasculature of the patient. It is often necessary to obtain feedback from the patient while these catheters are being threaded in, but the procedure can be so disturbing to the patient that the patient must also be sedated. So the problem arises, how do you get reliable feedback from the patient while still sedating him?

The answer is Versed. This drug allows the patient to space out so that he isn't bothered by anything that is happening and he wakes up without remembering anything that happened. This drug often causes patients to babble away while the catheter is being inserted, since these people naturally become quite voluble. You can easily direct them to talk about one thing or the other, so you can get them to shift the topic of conversation from their first wife's bad breath to their sensation of the catheter just by asking, and they put up no resistance.

So from this, it seems that Versed is a perfect substitute for torture, though I am not aware that it has ever been tested or used for this purpose."

IF you value the privacy of your mind and thoughts and IF you feel that torture is never justified, especially the torture of an innocent patient, then you will decline the Versed. This is so horrifying I can hardly stand it. This is bad, Bad, BAD! You medical people have NO RIGHT to do this to us! Do you tell your patients ANYTHING LIKE what Marat is writing about in the informed consent portion of your job? Do you? Of course not because you LIKE it. This is sickening. This IS terrorism! All masked in a make nice package wrongly called "sedation." Shocking is too banal a word to use for this kind of behavior from our saintly medical providers! Medical personnel are terrorists, sadists and vicious interrogators. This drug Versed needs to be banned. "Versed is the perfect substitute for torture!" Except that the helpless, hapless patient is tortured as well as revealing their humiliating secrets for the entertainment of staff. All nice and legal and practiced by people who are supposed to be helping and who should know better. This is NOT acceptable at Gitmo OR in our medical centers.

Letter From Reader

Jackie: thanks for finding that Frida the blogger is okay! I have a strong affinity for the physically challenged and enjoyed her postings after your link. Her stuff was informative and insightful. (my favorite kind of blog)

Also, noticed you found the amygdala and hippocampus stuff and obviously are reading some of the same scary stuff I've run into with memory and emotions running amok because of "interference" and it isn't always PTSD. As with most versed damaged minds, it is chemical interference that my old therapist friend agrees is probably permanent but definitely can be improved somewhat. She had that bad go round herself as I had told you. But retraining the brain and attaching new ideas to a bad experience seems to help folks feel a little more in control of themselves. I am all for that after a week of nightmares and sweaty palms. The anniversary date of my diagnosis is approaching, so the memories of my damaging experience are getting more intense again. This happened in July when I went to the doctor's office for a follow up. Going there was only a problem when I thought about why and couldn't escape the flashbacks for awhile. Hell again, as you know.

She loves this emotional brain training stuff. Thinks the amygdala connection has been overlooked and basically neglected in brain physiology writings because it is so hard to map. I agree since I know my emotions are intact (painful, but intact) and my sequential memory isn't. This week on MedPage they have a good article on traumatic "events" and cognitive therapy. I did laugh when I read that just drugs, as in TRANQUILIZERS, don't help with stopping the development of PTSD. Regardless of that crap the medical community with the support of the army medics tried to put out that drug induced amnesia was supposed to be a help to combat veterans at risk for PTSD, it looks like that may have been a band aid on the festering aneurysm of anxiety overload if this newer study is correct. They haven't been pushing this much the last few years in the research at NIMH.

I have always known benzos are just bad for some brains, no way around it. There was never a question that amnesia is no friend to good mental health. Who do they think they are, these spin doctors on big pharma payrolls?

It just made no sense that every other therapy for trauma involved remembering the event and confronting the feelings to get them under control and reduce anxiety. But ^o^, the crna's and anesthesiologists think it is just fine to step out of their discipline and tell us what is good for us because they want to censor our memories. In fact, this concept of chemically censoring our brain function demonstrates the basic insult and fuels my continuing disdain and distrust for the numb-noggin jerks I encountered.

I just can't even think about them without becoming furious.

My yoga instructor tells me that focus and deep breathing are big helps for people after a brain injury, more and more research showing it in Europe. I think that chemically frying our brains could arguably be classified as an injury. It sure feels that way to me.

Here is hoping brain training (self brain washing is one sense) will improve my attitude. Chocolate does help sometimes. I admit. But it doesn't last anywhere but on my butt. So much for permanent improvement to date.