Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Letter From Reader
Jackie: thanks for finding that Frida the blogger is okay! I have a strong affinity for the physically challenged and enjoyed her postings after your link. Her stuff was informative and insightful. (my favorite kind of blog)
Also, noticed you found the amygdala and hippocampus stuff and obviously are reading some of the same scary stuff I've run into with memory and emotions running amok because of "interference" and it isn't always PTSD. As with most versed damaged minds, it is chemical interference that my old therapist friend agrees is probably permanent but definitely can be improved somewhat. She had that bad go round herself as I had told you. But retraining the brain and attaching new ideas to a bad experience seems to help folks feel a little more in control of themselves. I am all for that after a week of nightmares and sweaty palms. The anniversary date of my diagnosis is approaching, so the memories of my damaging experience are getting more intense again. This happened in July when I went to the doctor's office for a follow up. Going there was only a problem when I thought about why and couldn't escape the flashbacks for awhile. Hell again, as you know.
She loves this emotional brain training stuff. Thinks the amygdala connection has been overlooked and basically neglected in brain physiology writings because it is so hard to map. I agree since I know my emotions are intact (painful, but intact) and my sequential memory isn't. This week on MedPage they have a good article on traumatic "events" and cognitive therapy. I did laugh when I read that just drugs, as in TRANQUILIZERS, don't help with stopping the development of PTSD. Regardless of that crap the medical community with the support of the army medics tried to put out that drug induced amnesia was supposed to be a help to combat veterans at risk for PTSD, it looks like that may have been a band aid on the festering aneurysm of anxiety overload if this newer study is correct. They haven't been pushing this much the last few years in the research at NIMH.
I have always known benzos are just bad for some brains, no way around it. There was never a question that amnesia is no friend to good mental health. Who do they think they are, these spin doctors on big pharma payrolls?
It just made no sense that every other therapy for trauma involved remembering the event and confronting the feelings to get them under control and reduce anxiety. But ^o^, the crna's and anesthesiologists think it is just fine to step out of their discipline and tell us what is good for us because they want to censor our memories. In fact, this concept of chemically censoring our brain function demonstrates the basic insult and fuels my continuing disdain and distrust for the numb-noggin jerks I encountered.
I just can't even think about them without becoming furious.
My yoga instructor tells me that focus and deep breathing are big helps for people after a brain injury, more and more research showing it in Europe. I think that chemically frying our brains could arguably be classified as an injury. It sure feels that way to me.
Here is hoping brain training (self brain washing is one sense) will improve my attitude. Chocolate does help sometimes. I admit. But it doesn't last anywhere but on my butt. So much for permanent improvement to date.