Monday, September 14, 2009

An update on my personal saga.

3 YEARS after my initiation into modern medicine I am back in counceling. My PA prescribed Lexapro and Buspar for my anxiety disorder stemming from the incident at the hospital when I was drugged into submission, in violation of the law and forced to endure medical treatment that in no way was explained or permission granted for.

I never even filled the Buspar prescription. The Lexapro on the other hand is a very interesting drug. I researched it and found out that this is a highly addictive drug. While I have a horror of becoming dependant on any drug (or alcohol for that matter) I was so unnerved by the whole experience and having to relive the whole thing for my unsuccessful lawsuit, I decided to take it.

I took this stuff for 3 weeks in a much reduced amount than my PA suggested. It seemed to control the anxiety, but I was still aware of the anxiety in the background. This anxiety continued to grow, but the drug made it bearable, or so I thought. I chose to take a break from it for a few days to try and mitigate any addiction that I might be aquiring. I noticed that I was becoming increasingly alarmed and obsessed with having this drug available to me at all times. Worrying about when I would run out and that sort of thing. I am not the kind of person who wishes to have yet more anxiety about a damn DRUG! I have enough anxiety about Versed...

So for three days I went without my Lexapro and guess what? My anxiety level dropped. This drug Lexapro seems to simultaniously create and control anxiety. The anxiety ran in the background, getting worse and worse, but the drug convinced me that it was helping by artificially preventing me from exibiting the anxiety. Creepy. You need to keep in mind that I am a person who has paradoxical reactions to a lot of drugs. I had hyperactivity disorder as a child. I have paradoxical reactions to anesthesia agents, Versed didn't give me amnesia, that sort of thing.

A LOT of Versed sufferers are given this drug Lexapro and become addicted to it. Just be careful what you take to try to alleviate the Versed thing. If you have already had a reaction to Versed which is supposed to calm people, you may be predisposed to have bizarre reactions to other chemical compounds.

Maybe some other people with training in this area can post some comments about this?

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