Once Again

I am going to answer a commenter about what exactly *I* expect from medical workers when I go to the hospital.  Hopefully this will be the last time I have to answer this question.  Here is the comment;

Jack has left a new comment on your post "Recent Hate Comments":

I've poked around on your blog but can't really figure out what happened to you that has caused you to demonize Versed. Can you explain what happened?
I've administered Versed to thousands upon thousands of patients with no ill effect. More than anything else, patients want a guarantee that they will remember/feel nothing. Versed is just one of the drugs I go to in my toolbox to ensure my patients have a good experience. I've also had patients request a regional anesthetic and to remain awake during their procedure. That's not a problem and I don't think most anesthesia providers would have a problem with that. I've had family members receive Versed and I would want it if I was having surgery.
Really, all anesthetic agents cause amnesia. Should they be eliminated? How would you like to be cared for if a regional anesthetic isn't an option if you are going to exclude all drugs that cause amnesia?

Jack

Dear Jack, in a nutshell I have always had problems with anesthesia from when I was a kid and had my tonsils out.  For unknown reasons which btw have nothing to do with drug addiction, mental illness or alcohol consumption, I fight anesthesia.  I know that there are drugs that will basically paralyze me, so I'm not sure where the fighting comes from, but EVERY SINGLE DOCTOR who has ever given me general anesthesia has had a problem with me.  It is what it is.  They prefer me to have regional blocks and no sedation.

My experience was that when I wanted and gave permission for a regional block for my distal radius fracture ORIF, my crna, who was posing as a doctor, decided in his infinite wisdom that *I* didn't know what I was talking about.  Apparently stupid patients aren't allowed to say no to anything the nurse wants to do.  So he showed me!  He shot me up with Versed.  Said it was simply a muscle relaxant when I asked what "vitamin V" was.  That's a big fat lie.  Immediately I couldn't speak, and was rendered completely helpless.  Then he began to make disparaging comments about me, I was completely helpless and humiliated.  You already know about the creepy "obedience" that Versed causes.  I never got amnesia, didn't know I was supposed to...  (refer to informed consent laws) but I sure had to listen to the "funnies" that my crna came up with.  Then he gave me general anesthetic which I had COMPLETELY DECLINED.  I explained my previous experiences with it.  I told the story of the ORIF femur I had without general anesthetic, only a regional.  He didn't give a damn and in fact told me that as *I* wasn't a trained medical professional such as himself, that he "knows what's best for me".  He found it amusing that I was upset.  "Too bad, what are ya gonna do about it" was his attitude.  This is also the attitude of most of the crna types who come here and write comments, so it's not unusual.

The upshot was that I got PTSD from the assault.  I completely trusted the crna (thinking he was a doctor) and he betrayed that trust in such an egregious way that it caused me SEVERE emotional problems.  The surgery was so poorly done I had to have it redone somewhere else.  For a year and a half I had those screws (look at the xrays on this blog) shredding my tendons.  I had a loose "self-locking" screw interfering with my ulnar nerve.  IF the crna had obeyed me and limited my treatment as required by law, whomever did the surgery might have been a little more careful.  If it was the JANITOR who performed the surgery (yes it was that bad) then I would have been aware of it as well.  All of this was accompanied by a HUGE hospital bill, for no reason.  The minute I was shot up with the poison you call Versed the charges started racking up.  Oh yeah and I got a nice kidney infection as well.

When I came to my senses after the huge amounts of anesthetic pumped into me, including a shot of 4 MORE MLS of Versed after the surgery was over, on top of the continuous shots of Versed during surgery and before surgery, I was already on my feet trying to kill people.  I kept fading in and out, but observers said that my speech was continuous and coherent so somehow even though my memory is in bits and pieces I was "lucid" according to them.  They are lucky I was so dizzy because I absolutely wanted to murder them.  Versed took away my inhibitions, and I was so angry at the arrogant, cavalier treatment and the nasty comments about me, that I really truly wanted them dead.  It took years to get over that blazing hot HATRED.  It scared me and it scared my husband.  It scared the crap out of the nurses.

I have seen the comments from crna's on nurse-anesthesia.  I am well aware of the "esteem" in which we patients are held by these nurses.  I went to the hospital for a minor surgery, BEST DONE WITH A REGIONAL BLOCK LIKE I WANTED and I got an anti-social arrogant nurse who defied me AND the law by performing those things which I had declined.  He beat me into submission with Versed, did whatever he wanted to...  One of the things that really got me was when he claimed that I gave "consent" in the operating room by "not objecting".  He made damn sure I COULDN'T object by shooting me up with Versed, which I had declined by saying no sedative or drugs which will incapacitate me.  He left that part out because he is a lying snake.  Since when is consent given in the negative?  We had the conversation.  I laid out concise permission for the parameters of my care.  I explained myself fully.  I'm not good enough or important enough to be able to put restrictions on a demi-God of a crna now am I?  I'm still angry as you can tell.  You guys have no right to do this to people.  I don't give a damn how many people like Versed.  It has a HUGE amount of people who hate it.  I would never have allowed its use for any reason and my crna knew that.  He just didn't care.  No patient was going to tell him his job.

The actual consent form is on this blog.  The hospital got into a lot of trouble over it, because it isn't a legal consent.  Look and see if you can find anything on it about sedation, risks and benefits or consent for any kind of anesthesia whatsoever.  The crna himself wrote a note on the anesthesia report stating that not only had he explained his plan to me (he didn't) but also that I had ACCEPTED this plan.  Lying sack of excrement.  See if you can find where anything is written down about the risks and benefits of my surgery?  It's not there.  There were all kinds of errors and omissions, the wrong block was listed and the paper I got AFTER surgery saying what I had received it is also against the law.  The dates are mixed up...was that when they went back and redid the electronic records?  The physicians assistant is listed as my surgeon. I remember him asking me the same question as a dozen nurses had already asked, but he didn't identify himself as my surgeon or as the PA.  So anyway, the hospital had to change their "inferred" consent to actual "informed" consent.  In the 21st century.

As for the statement that all anesthetics cause amnesia, no they don't. Please don't insult my intelligence by conflating unconscious with amnesia.  I had a crna try to tell me that SLEEPING means you have amnesia.  You know that's a crock.  Plus the effects of Versed on the brain are NOT like any other.  Yes I have had problems with anesthesia but NOTHING like the problems I have had since the Versed.

PS I have enough money saved up to go to INDIA if I have to have any major surgery.  Especially heart surgery.  They are pioneering a way to do open heart surgery without general anesthetic.  My wild awakenings after surgery would kill me if I had open heart surgery.  Do you understand now?