Here is the comment;
Recommend Against Versedposted by Thomas on 20 May 2012 at 11:44 am
"I'm a 53 year old male, and in October of last year I was scheduled for a colonoscopy. I was to be put under "conscious sedation". I was not aware of the nature of the drug Versed at the time, but I sure am now.
The last thing I remember with clarity was being given it, everything after that are fuzzy, disordered memories. But I know some of what happened, and parts of it I can recall. I've been traumatized ever since and so was my wife.
My wife said that after I was taken in, I was screaming in agony so loudly they she could hear me from the waiting area. I remember only pieces of this time - I remember begging them to stop, trying to tell them I couldn't stand it any more, and a nurse telling me to "breathe, breathe..." I remember feeling that they must be cutting into me with a knife and ripping apart my insides. I know after I had bruises on my arms and legs. It was a very violating experience, I feel like I was tortured.
My memory of the rest of the day after that is entirely gone - the only things I recall after the Versed are bits and pieces from traumatic events from inside that room. I don't remember my wife driving me home, or friends calling to ask me how I was, although I've been told they did. People told me my poor wife was sobbing and shaking like a leaf from having to hear my screaming.
Ever since, I've had periods of extreme anxiety, which I've never had before in my life, where I don't want to leave my house, and feel like staying in with all the doors locked. Also I've had and issues with my memory which was always excellent. I work as a engineer and several complex skills I've been doing my entire career seem to have vanished overnight. Can I "prove" that was due to this drug? No, I can't, but it's awfully suspicious that I knew something and used it on a daily basis for decades, and it suddenly was taken from me at just the time I received an amnesic drug.
It's only after researching on the internet that I learned this drug is not an anesthetic, but only an amnesic. That is, it interferes with your ability to form memories, but it does not provide pain relief. Personally, I would not call that "sedation", so I feel I was misled by the hospital staff.
In all all I wish I never went through this, and I don't feel I'm "whole" even now, many months later. I know I can never face that procedure again. I have to keep checking that all the doors to the house are locked, sometimes 15 times every night or more, and I can't shake this feeling that comes over of being in danger, even though I'm not. Some days I even have trouble leaving the house at all. I was never like that before.
No one from the hospital ever checked to see how I was, and I was in no condition to talk to them on that day. I tried later, but was brushed off with, "when you're under twilight sedation, you don't always remember clearly what happened. The doctor said you tolerated the procedure well." Then why did my WIFE hear me screaming, if I tolerated it so well? Why am I afraid to go outside, when I love the outdoors
I know it's not fair to say every case will be like mine, but I think the use of a drug to make you "forget", while still experiencing all the pain and horror, is inhumane. I feel that more attention should be given to pain relief, not pain forgetting. I feel this should never have been described to me as "sedation", when it was really just "it will be horrific, but you'll forget some of it". I'm sure some people in other cases have little or no pain from this procedure, but when someone does, I feel that it should be stopped and their agony should be addressed as the number one priority with pain medications - NOT amnesics.
So now, I know I do not have colon cancer. I'll gladly trade that piece of knowledge if I can only be whole again."
Here's the link to the comment in situ;Midazolam Sedation Is Not ALWAYS Safe - Forum Thread Page 3