Here's the link Midazolam Sedation Is Not ALWAYS Safe - Forum Thread Page 4
Here's the story;
My Horrifying Reaction To Midazolam
posted by Treated like a monster on 17 Aug 2013 at 5:17 pm
I do not think Midazolam is a "bad drug" as many do. Different drugs affect different people in different ways, and there is risk with everything. However, healthcare professionals NEED to obtain INFORMED consent before using a drug with as many risks as Midazolam, and deception seems to be rather common in the administration of this drug in particular.
I have a history of reactions to drugs, as well as a host of other bizarre medical issues. I do not properly produce at least one CYP enzyme (confirmed by genetic testing) and have had numerous incidences of severe and rare side effects with various psychoactive medications. For this reason, I have to be very careful about what medications I am given. I was scheduled to have my severely impacted wisdom teeth removed two days ago. I had called the clinic to schedule my appointment 7 days prior, and they happened to have an appointment available so soon. I was told that twilight anaesthesia is highly recommended, so I agreed that I would be interested in receiving such because local novocaine is noted by my dentist as being more or less useless on me, requiring 3 times the usual dose to relieve any pain. I received a whole lot of pre-op instructions, and was told to call back if I had any questions before surgery. I noticed their website had a very long list of instructions for surgery under "general/IV sedation" compared to simply local anaesthetic and nitrous oxide, so I called back the next day to inquire about what drugs were used in sedation, as I tend to have drug sensitivities. I was told that many different drugs can be used and that I would have my call returned later that day with more information. I received no return call. I called back on Monday to inquire again, and this time I was given a very long list of potential sedatives and was told I could discuss it with the doctor when I came in for the procedure. The nurse I talked to was not very kind to me, and at this point I said I would like to cancel the operation as I was feeling uneasy about it. I was informed that I needed to cancel at least 7 days in advance, or I would be charged a $250 cancellation fee. I explained the situation, and was reassured that the doctor was very good and had all sorts of amazing qualifications including special training in anaesthesia administration. Considering the cost to cancel was more than my co-pay for the operation, I decided I should just go with it. When I arrived, I had to complete all of the paperwork and was asked to sign the consent form with the "General/IV Sedation" box already checked for me. Of course, I was reassured that I could discuss it with the doctor. I signed it, and then met with the doctor who was very friendly and seemed trustworthy. When I asked him about the anaesthesia, he said that what he would give me depended on how I reacted during surgery but that he usually uses an painkiller and a benzodiazapine that he said was "just like Valium, but stronger" and that no one ever had issues with it under his care. I take Valium for sleep and muscle spasms, and have taken Xanax for mild anxiety so I thought that I would be safe with this Ivy League educated surgeon and the drugs that he would choose to administer. I was led into the procedure room and given nitrous, during which time I engaged in friendly conversation about my pre-med coursework with the doctor and his assistants. I was exceedingly relaxed, even when the doctor inserted two IVs into me. The last thing I remember is complimenting him on his good work finding a vein in my hand, and him saying I would go to sleep for a while and was doing a very good job relaxing. Next thing I remember I'm "waking up" and having one IV removed from me. The doctor is telling his nurses that he cannot operate on me as I am being uncooperative. He then told me I had a "panic attack" due to my history of anxiety issues and that I would have to leave and they would later extract my teeth one at a time without anaesthesia. I asked if he could just do it then because I was conscious and cooperating, but he said that that wasn't possible and that I needed to leave. I vaguely remember saying "OK" and removing the other IV myself and getting blood all over myself. I do not remember how I got out of the room but I am told I forced my way through and out the door. I know I called a friend who lived nearby to come pick me up as I did not want to go with my father- I recall him being very very angry at me for not cooperating. I am over 18 and reasoned that I should be allowed to come and go as I please, especially because I was not going to be driving or anything. I am told I was screaming at the doctor for being incompetent and crying uncontrollably, and the police were called. I was threatened with arrest and kept insisting that I had not committed any crime and should be free to go. I only remember small pieces of these things, although more memory comes back every day. I was wrestled to the ground by a cop after dragging my father a city block down the sidewalk trying to leave. I have a large bruise on my back from his knee and an even larger one on my forehead, as well as many minor ones all over my arms and tummy and face. I also injured my knee. All this time I was being treated like a violent criminal and threatened with jail time. When I was finally dragged into the police car the officer told me that he was involuntarily committing me to the psychiatric ward at our local hospital. I was apparently being angry and combative, which is something that has never happened to me before as I have issues expressing anger as anything more than depression. The doctor at the ER was very friendly and allowed me to go home with my friend, after instructing the police officers to uncuff me. I apparently did not cooperate with anyone aside from the ER doctor and nurse during this entire time. The doctor informed me that what occurred was not my fault and a reaction to Midazolam. I spent a few hours at my friend's, who was told I had psychiatric disturbances and was prone to violence (untrue). I was in excruciating jaw pain during this time and called the oral surgeon again asking to reschedule to have them individually extracted. The nurse was very, very rude to me and said that the office manager would call me back later that day. I of course did not have that call returned that day. I called my dentist as well as another dentist I had seen on emergency before and explained that something happened with the anesthesia, and inquired about options. I found out that they called the oral surgeon, who explained that I was a dangerous patient and recommended they not treat me. I ended up feeling so agitated that I could not stop crying, and limped to the library because libraries make me feel safe. I was still very dazed and was stopped by a police officer who thought I had been sexually assaulted because I looked so traumatized. He was very friendly until I told him what actually happened, at which point he indicated that he had heard about me and took on a very accusatory tone. I told him I would like to leave (I was very afraid of the police due to the drug at that moment) and was told I could go. I arrived at the library around 2:30pm, about 5 hours after the drug was administered. I kept getting lost in the aisles and finally found a philosophy text that I wanted to read and thought that would calm me down. At this time, I was more anxious and upset than I had ever been in my entire life. I sat down, and found myself unable to make sense of the words I was reading, and that I had an incredible headache. I did not want to go home in case someone in town could operate on me that day, as my jaw pain was unbearable. I know now that that was irrational, but it made sense at the time. I gave up on the text and decided I should find a book with pictures to look at because they might make me feel better. I found a book of photographs by one of my favorite photographers, and tried to look through it. I found myself getting more and more anxious by the minute. I started getting calls back from the other dentists at that time, telling me they were sorry but that they couldn't do anything for me. I remember begging them to do something because I was going to have to cut out the teeth myself otherwise. My mother began sending me text messages, and I found I was incapable of properly spelling anything in response. At around 430pm, I agreed that she could pick me up from the library because it was closing soon. She drove me to the pharmacy to pick up the painkillers the oral surgeon had sent over prior to the operation, only to find out the order was cancelled. I refused to eat or drink anything in case someone could do surgery on me later that day. We drove home, and I made a little cave out of blankets to hide in and cry for the next hour. My father returned home around 6pm, and began scolding me for my horrible behavior after the attempted surgery. I then put some shoes partway on and ran 1/4 mile down the road and then scaled a rocky hillside and ran into the woods, where I remained for a half hour until I was so scared by the shadows flitting in and out of my vision that I came back down. I still do not understand how I managed to get up there. I came home around 7, and drank 2 sips of water before throwing it back up. I texted my friend and told him that I didn't want to see him ever again and resolved to end my relationship with my boyfriend as soon as I could reach him via the internet. I don't remember what I did for the rest of the night, except that I cried through all of it and at 930pm texted my boyfriend that I was really sick and missed him very much, and was considering killing myself. I know that I did not stop crying at all from the time I left the hospital until I fell asleep that night, and had resolved to end my life via dehydration. I was treated like a monster by everyone around me and felt like it must be my fault and that no one would ever love me again, especially not my father. Yesterday I awoke early, and my father had made an appointment to talk with my therapist about my psychotic episode to try to figure out how to prevent me from "snapping" again. The oral surgeon's office manager called me back. She explained that they would not treat me, and that I would need to drive to a university 10 hours away to have the surgery done under general anaesthesia. I again asked what medications I was given, and the woman on the phone refused to tell me, citing that the doctor had verbally told my father who "seemed to be familiar with them as he is a registered nurse." He told me I was primarily given Midazolam. A quick search brought up all the articles describing reactions identical to mine. My father still blamed me for my behavior. My mother called the university I was referred to and was told that despite my situation, they would only use general anaesthesia on people with Down syndrome or those that required more extensive surgery. My mother got me an appointment to consult an oral surgeon 2 hours away at noon, so she drove me there. I cried most of the morning, and my father suggested that I shouldn't do the consult at all because he didn't know what I would do. I arrived at the clinic and the surgeon was very kind. He understood exactly what happened and told me that he would be happy to perform the surgery under full surgical anaesthesia, without Midazolam or any similar medication. I have to drive 5 hours to the hospital where it will be done this Wednesday, but I know it will be worth it because I have never reacted adversely to surgical anaesthesia and this surgeon was much more thorough and less deceptive to any questions I asked. After that I felt much better, although still very depressed. I ate lunch with my mother, and when I got home I found my father had had a conversation with his nursing buddy who explained that such adverse reactions do occur and that my scary behavior truly wasn't my fault. I knew I was feeling a bit strange but I felt capable of caring for myself. My father took me to the grocery store around 7pm and bought me various food items that I could prepare for myself and then set off on an overnight trip with my mother to their cabin. I do not remember last night, aside from watching cartoons and repeatedly waking up to find myself sweating profusely with vomit in my hair. I still feel as if I am living in a dream and feel very agitated and unable to focus. I am not sure how much of last night I dreamed and what actually happened. I feel very confused and hurt, and wish I had had the opportunity to do research into the drugs used on me prior to my attempted surgery. I keep crying for no reason, feel constantly zoned out and unable to remember things, feel continually anxious/agitated, and my initial oral surgeon keeps denying that any of the effects after the first IV was taken out were caused in any way by the medication. I hope that medical professionals will start being more honest about the risks of drugs like Midazolam, at least to patients with a history of trouble with medication side effects. I don't think I will ever get over this experience, and am now only hoping that the last of the metabolites of the drug are exiting my body and that I will finally stop crying.
Is this really acceptable? This woman is still defending the medical cartel who gave her this drug. So sad. This reaction is a matter of supreme indifference to medical people. They KNEW what had caused the problem, but still insisted that it was somehow the victim's fault! They allowed/encouraged people to further harm this patient when all the while it was the administration of Versed... Is there no shame in the medical field?