Tuesday, April 14, 2009

How long will I be this way?

How long will you be completely demoralized by Versed? How long will your brain be fuzzy? How long will you feel violated, yes raped? How long will you obsess over what you did or said while under the influence? When will you be able to sleep through the night? How long will it take to be able to trust anybody in the medical field again? Will the obsession ever stop? Will my brain ever feel the same? How long will it take for you to feel like a human being again? How do you get back to the same mental state you were in BEFORE you were poisoned with Versed?

Sorry but the answer is "who knows?" The medical people are obstreperous about this drug. They willfully refuse to see that it causes long term mental status changes. Or, even more sinister is the idea that our caring medical people that we trust with our lives already know this and are deliberately trying to conceal this effect. Either way, the answer is the same. We just don't know!

For me and others the first few months were the worst. This was the time period where I had suicidal ideation because I just could not function with the synapses in my brain going crazy. It felt like my brain was being electrocuted. My theory is that having my brain electricity artificially reduced, that when the neurons started firing again, they went crazy. The sleeplessness, rage, etc. was at its worst during this time. For you medical types who inject this poison, this is the most dangerous time for you as well.

A common feature of Versed poisoning is HOMICIDAL RAGE!!! I am not the only person to report this. This fantasy involves severe bodily harm to the person responsible for the injection. I am waiting for a violent person to go on a rampage after receiving Versed. Lucky for the CRNA, I managed to control this phenomenon! He should feel very lucky that I was not a maniac BEFORE he gave me this nasty little drug.

Talking to a shrink about all this is not helpful either. Doctors are responsible for this poison being used why go to another one and be drugged up some more? I found that fish oil was like chapstick for the brain. It made the bizarre hyper active brain stuff better. It is a balm not a cure. I tried Prozac and Amitriptiline which did not work. The shrinks look at you like you are something the cat dragged in if you tell them that your mental disorder stems from Versed. Be prepared for some unhelpful delving into your past trying to find some miserable excuse for the disorder other than the truth; Versed caused it!

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